Why Go to the Academy?
by Denise Nicole
Summary: Response to PTC Archive challenge: Why did B'Elanna go to the Academy?


Rated: G  
  
Disclaimer: It's my time, my effort, Paramount's people. It works.  
  
Why Go To The Academy  
  
By Denise N. Rodier  
  
  
  
Why go to the Academy?  
  
The question coming from behind startled me. I was fastening the clasp on my suitcase when I heard her voice. I turned and saw Mother standing there, tall and proud as always. Even now, approaching adulthood, I still feel short and awkward around her. "What?" I asked.  
  
"Why go to the Academy?" she repeated herself.  
  
I resentfully turned from her, the pain from our most recent fight echoing through my mind. I did not answer. I tried to finish packing as quickly as I could. My acceptance had arrived an hour ago, and I planned to spend as little time home as possible. Her voice sounded through the room again like a drum, harsh, yet with a mellow undertone.  
  
"There are many fine schools here on Kessik. Or in the Empire. Maybe on another world, Vulcan or--"  
  
"I'm sure there are fine schools on Romulus also, Mother, but that doesn't mean I want to go there," I threw back over my shoulder.  
  
"Why go to the Academy?" she repeated again.  
  
I spun to look at her. "Maybe I just want to get away from here. Away from you," I retorted.  
  
"Lanna--"  
  
"My name is B'Elanna, not Lanna," I informed her angrily.  
  
She sighed. "B'Elanna," she began again. "You cannot spend your entire life running. You will go nowhere quickly.  
  
I grabbed my luggage and brushed past her on my way through the door. "Right now I'm going to Earth," I said as I left the house.  
  
I heard her voice behind me as I walked away from my old life and towards my new one. "Qapla', B'Elanna Torres."  
  
My parting thought was that it sounded almost like a prayer.  
  
  
  
Why go to the Academy?  
  
The question seemed to come from nowhere. I was discussing warp theory with my Advanced Physics professor, Dr. Quelton, when he suddenly decided the question was relevant to the conversation. The question itself was actually pretty stupid. The answer was obvious. "To become an Engineer with Starfleet, of course."  
  
The balding man slowly shook his head. "Cadet, I don't think you understand what I'm asking."  
  
The response angered and frustrated me. "What do you mean I don't understand? You asked why I came to the Academy. I answered. Why does that make me unable to understand?"  
  
He started cleaning up a little, stacking papers, putting a few in a separate pile to take with him when he left. Not looking me in the eyes, he told me, "Cadet, I'm not doubting your intelligence. I'm quite sure you understand the question itself. It's the answer I'm doubting you understand."  
  
I couldn't believe the man. "What else do you want me to say? I've come here to study? To learn? To get the best education? What?"  
  
He walked away from me, speaking as he left. The words he said infuriated me more than any I'd heard before. "Cadet, you won't be able to make it here if that's what your answer is. You won't become an 'Engineer with Starfleet' here."  
  
  
  
Why go to the Academy?  
  
That question again. This time from my Captain. We were actually planetside for a change, celebrating another night of being alive, of not getting ourselves killed fighting Cardassians, of being able to stand and fight another day.  
  
"Why the sudden interest in the Academy?" I ribbed my friend.  
  
Chakotay grinned and shrugged. "Just curious. You don't seem the Academy type."  
  
I punched him lightly on the arm. "And just what is the Academy type, may I ask?" He laughed and shook his head.  
  
I sighed. "I don't know, Chakotay. It was a bad move in another life. I guess... maybe..." I trailed off, not quite sure if I should finish.  
  
"Maybe what?" he prodded.  
  
"Maybe I went to try to find myself. To figure out who I really was. After all, I was always just a half-Human, half-Klingon kid. No room for self- discovery in that," I told him.  
  
He smiled again. "B'Elanna, if there's one thing I've learned so far in life, it's that you have to go a lot further than Starfleet Academy to find yourself."  
  
  
  
Why go to the Academy?  
  
I was stunned by the question. It had reared its head again when I had least expected it, at a time when I probably should have most expected it. The senior staff had gathered in the mess hall. It was a time of relaxation and friends. Of laughter and stories. And there were plenty of stories. I had just finished telling about almost blowing up my Chemistry lab when the Captain asked her question. I was just... stunned. "What?" I asked softly.  
  
"Why go to the Academy?"  
  
I slowly leaned back in my chair and pondered that question. The faces of many people who had asked that same question appeared before me, the sounds of their voices asking me the question echoing in my ears. I cocked my head a little and looked at Janeway. "What does that question mean exactly?"  
  
She looked slightly taken aback. Tom, sitting next to me, started laughing. "It's a question B'Elanna, not a philosophical debate."  
  
"You don't understand," I said a little too gruffly. "I've been asked that same question by many different people throughout my life. You'd think the answer would be the same, but it isn't. It wasn't. It's changed so many times that I don't believe any more that the question is as simple as it sounds. So, Captain, if I may ask, what does that question mean?"  
  
Janeway thought for a moment before answering. "I guess it means what brought you there? Why go that direction on your journey through life? I'm not sure." She stopped for a second and then asked, "Are all the answers you had before correct?"  
  
I slowly turned and looked each person at that table in the eye. I heard the question repeat itself again, and then, suddenly, I finally understood what I was being asked. "Captain, it's odd, but I think I was wrong."  
  
I don't think she quite expected that. "You were wrong? How so?"  
  
I smiled a little as the memories played themselves through my mind, finally able to see what my Mother, what Dr. Quelton, what Chakotay were all asking. "Well, Captain, it's pretty simple. I was running to Starfleet Academy. The problem was that I never stopped running until I was floating in space." Tom reached over and grasped my hand. I smiled at him before continuing. "I never could become an Engineer with Starfleet at the Academy. I had be a member of the Maquis before I could do that. And I had to go a lot farther than the Academy to find myself. A whole lot. I had to go all the way to the Delta Quadrant. Here is where I have been able to trust myself, to learn about who I am. It took all of you to help me."  
  
"Why the Academy? What's the real answer?" Janeway asked.  
  
The answer was as obvious now as it should have been then. Even if it was still a little vague. "Because, Captain, every voyage has to have a beginning. And what better place for new beginnings?"  
  
  
  
The End 


End file.
